All your bedrooms are belong to us – part deux.

A couple of months ago I blogged about some arseclowns that wanted to take charge of everyone’s unused bedrooms.

Well, it’s gone a step further. Now I see over at Big Brother Watch that Newham council want to take charge of bedrooms that are in use. They want a list of everyone that comes to visit, and no doubt dates and times to boot:

It’s already been dubbed the ‘sex snoop list’ and residents are up in arms.

Newham Council’s decision to force residents to sign-in every visitor to their property in 30 tower blocks is a clear invasion of privacy and an entirely misguided response to a problem.

The policy was announced with less than 24 hours notice and staff are being asked to refuse entry to visitors who don’t sign in.

Wow.

Just wow.

It’s all for your own good, obviously.

Ridiculously, the council say it’s for fire safety and to combat anti-social behavior.

Ahhh, the old health and safety dog whistle. Well, bravo. I bet the person who thought of this wanked themselves sore when the idea popped into their head. Still I suppose it justifies their continued employment, because obviously all the other problems have been magicked away.

Haven’t they?

Despite finding the time and resources to implement the guest register, the council failed to fix the locks on doors for several years.

Oh.

It won’t be long until there’s tellyscreens installed in each flat, so the community health officers can browbeat the feckless prole residents for not doing their exercises with sufficient vigour or eating the wrong food. I wonder if smoking is already banned in these flats?

Meanwhile, British troops – immeasurably braver than I – continue to be killed in Afghanistan as they fight to ‘protect’ our ‘liberties’.

It really does make me feel nauseous.

I don’t even know where to start

With this. . .

Parents who smoke in cars in front of small children are “committing a form of child abuse”, a leading GP has said.

Professor Steve Field, chairman of the Royal College of General Practitioners, has condemned society’s attitudes to food, alcohol and cigarettes.

Why is it so hard for these arseclowns to understand? Police are there to enforce the laws that exist, not to enforce those they wish to see on the statute. Doctors are there to cure people who are ill, not to ban us from doing anything that carries any risk at all.

If these two ever get together, there will be but two laws, the only thing we’ll be allowed to do is sit quietly at a table, with our hands in full view. The second law will be that we wash those hands once every ten minutes.

Thankfully it’ll never happen, they could never get on, the only thing more arrogant and authoritarian than a Doctor is a senior police officer.

The BBC have plenty of form here as well, the willing playground voice of nanny’s decrees. Look at the photo on the article, the message is clear, smoke and your kids will get fat.

Just do your bloody job won’t you? The one you are paid for, handsomely, where you don’t have to work weekends and evenings, (even the police manage that), from money taken from us on pain of prison. Your job is to make people better. Do it.

Would the mechanic complain if he kept seeing the same person every week because they were habitually smacking the wing of the car against the gatepost? No. He’d be delighted. Because he relies on people coming to him for a living. Doctors get their money regardless. They make no connection between the taxes paid and the service given.

Bastards.

The One That Says It’s None Of Their Business. . .

News today that Pristina is waiting for a judgement by the International Court of Justice on the independence of Kosovo.

A short and no-depth history lesson. Yugoslavia was one of the Versailles states, drawn up in 1918 at the conclusion of the First World War. It was an interesting idea as they managed to lump in the Croats and Serbs, who had a history of beating the shit out of each other for generations, and the Christians and the Muslims who had a history of beating the shit out of each other for generations into one easily combustible package. That it took another 70 years to really kick off was something of a miracle.

It was always a bit of testy area when it was part of the Ottoman Empire, as evidenced by the assasination of Arch-Duke Ferdinand. What a bloody mess.

Fast-Forward a hundred or so years and the benefits of the old Empire, and the federal state are still being reaped. Especially in the UK where the word Kosovan is almost a by-word for the sort of person who arrives in Dover in the back of an HGV (although I understand these days it’s normally Eritreans, Iraqis, Iranians, Sudanese and Vietnamese).

Following years and years of repression, persecution and general nastiness, the vast majority of ethnic Albanian Kosovan Muslims decided they’d had quite enough of Serbia, thank you very much, and on 17th February 2008 they declared independence.

It could have gone quite badly, one can only think back to the reactions of Serbia when Croatia and Bosnia did the same. Thankfully, it all went Slovene smoothly. Probably something to do with the shit load of UN troops camping out in the area. Serbia no doubt remembered the big bangs echoing around Belgrade when the missiles came raining down earlier on in the story.

Serbia aren’t happy about this. For some reason, and I’m a bit hazy on the socio-political history bit here, they seem to view the Federal Republic of Yugoslavia as being Serbia and some other bits all doing what Serbia say. I’m not sure that’s how a Federal model works. I thought the whole point of a Federal model was that it gave all constituent parts an equal say in the running of the place, a washing-up rota and stuff. Perhaps I’m wrong.

Kosovo is a country that was never out of the news and became a by-word for the very worst of Europe. Having struck out on its own and we haven’t heard a peep since. It’s like Estonia, things must be going fairly well in Estonia, because we never hear anything about it.

You’d have thought that everyone would have been very pleased with this state of affairs, it has allowed us all to focus on the job of making things go bang in an entertaining fashion elsewhere. It’s like trying to sit in the garden reading your book when the burglar alarm goes off on the house down the road. It’ll cause you to tut and is just a little bit more than a minor irritation, not enough for you to do something about it, but when the noise stops, it’s lovely.

So now we have this bizarre situation, where the people of Kosovo who have been quietly getting on with life and not hurting anyone (indeed quite the reverse, the recent exchange of land with Macedonia is a model of how two sensible countries should act) now have to wait and see if some other people will be nice enough to give them permission to have their own country.

Well, what bloody business is it of theirs? Who the hell are the ICJ to say ‘Yes, we’ll allow you to be a country.’ or ‘No, sorry, we think you should do what the Serbs tell you, off you go now.’? Why the hell do these people have a say over the wishes of the people that actually live in this place?

Wherefore self determination?

Of course it should be pointed out that ICJ is not binding. Well, what does that mean? According to the Groan:

The judgment from the ICJ in The Hague – to be issued at 2pm – is not legally binding, but is likely to have profound consequences for Kosovo and other de facto states and territories that might secede in the future.

So it’s not binding, but we know what that means, don’t we? It’s not binding, as long as you abide by the ruling. The moment you tell them to sod off, you can bet the big guns will be wheeled out.

Unfortunately for Kosovo, the largest organisation active in the country is EULEX, the European Union Rule of Law Mission. They already use the Euro, they’re already caught in the trap. They’ll swap one top heavy centralised disinterested government for another. If Kosovo gets the green light, you can bet the EU will be there like a shot whispering in their ear like Grima Wormtongue.

I wish Kosovo well, but fear their new independence will be shortlived as they become addicted to the heroin of ‘EU’ cash and the attendent machinery that goes with it.

The bottom line, as I see it, is this. The will of the electorate is sovereign. If the people of Kosovo, Kurdistan or Cornwall want independence, then fine. Two conditions; don’t go picking fights, don’t expect me to fund it. You want to stand on your own two feet? Then go ahead and do it, you’ll get a handshake and wishes of best luck from me.

UPDATE

The ICJ has ruled in favour of Kosovo. Serbia significantly unchuffed. I don’t understand why, keeping a part of a country in against its will can only result in serious trouble.

Whilst I’m pleased to see that the will of the population is not illegal, I still don’t see what bloody business it is of theirs.

The One That Is Pleased The Recycling Agenda Is Being Followed. . .

We’ve been told that recycling is very important. I tend to agree, why make something new when you can re-use something old? It’s just common and economic sense, the environmental concerns are all very well, but the idea of recycling is a winner just on the first two grounds.

I draw the line somewhere though.

At Easter, I blogged the following:

‘Teddy, a six-year-old donkey with Anna Usborne, in Chalford, Gloucestershire, ahead of an Easter Sunday walk that aims to encourage children to enjoy a chocolate-free weekend, for the sake of their health.’

Oh do shut up and fuck off, there’s a good woman.

‘Hey kids, no chocolate this morning, it’s bad for you. But we’re going on a walk, and you’ll see a lovely donkey. Won’t that be nice?’

Well what’s this I spy?


Parents should shun chocolate bars and sweets this Halloween and instead give their children spooky-themed healthy food, a charity says.

Yes, folks. It’s the recycling of news stories.

Same story, same comment from me.

Fuck off you meddling, purse-lipped, joyless, bleak, grey, miserable arse-wipes.

When will you get the message that we couldn’t care less about you, what you think or what you stand for and we will take no notice of you whatsoever?

I look forward to the same being trotted out in a few weeks for the festive period.

The One That Wants To Know Why You Can’t Just Mind Your Own Bloody Business. . .

Back in March I blogged about some mouthbreathing Righteous arsewipe who was incapable of keeping her bloody nose out of other peoples’ business.

It’s happened again:


A supermarket has apologised to one of its customers after she was told she could not have unpasteurised cheddar cheese because she was pregnant.

I could paste more, but really can’t be arsed.

Look, it is very simple.

It is none of your fucking business. None. Whatsoever.

I don’t go to the supermarket for medical advice, and even if I did, I wouldn’t seek that advice from the girl working on the fucking cheese counter.

Jeeeeesus.

Here we have it folks, our politicians spend so much time telling us how to live our lives that everyone thinks it is an appropriate way to behave. Footballers? Rock stars? Pah, it is the NuLabourites that have been a bad example for the public, if only they’d wrap cheese wire around their necks and stick their faces into the meat-slicer, then perhaps know nothing cheese vendors would do the same, instead of sticking their noses in to other peoples’ business.

Bastards.

The One That Wants Them To Shut The Hell Up. . .

Cheap deals on alcoholic drinks should be illegal, a new report is proposing, with a call for tighter controls on the marketing of alcohol.

The British Medical Association (BMA) argues young people are highly influenced by advertising and price deals, which encourage them to drink excessively.

It is none of your fucking business. Doctors will moan that cheap booze leads to them doing more medical stuff on people.

It doesn’t. People drinking too much leads to them doing more medical stuff on people. If people didn’t get sick or do silly things they’d all be out of the job that pays them shit loads for not working evenings and weekends and allowing them to play golf four days a fucking week.

What is it about doctors? Why do they think that a 5 year medical degree makes them not just an expert on medicine, but also everything else in the whole fucking world?

This is like an association of mechanics asking for diesel to be banned because people keep putting it in petrol driven vehicles. Would they? No. They may feign sympathy when it happens, but inside a little voice is singing the words to the happy dance. It keeps food on their table.

Perhaps the Licensed Victuallers Association can start complaining about how long waits in A&E are making their customers stay out of pubs longer and that something should be done.

Wind your fucking necks in, shut up, make people better. That’s your job, it is not your job to be our guardians/nannies/camp guards or to make political policy.

Got it?

The One That Is Advising You To Mind Your Own Fucking Business. . .

I blogged yesterday about corporatism. Slowly but surely big companies are becoming as important, if not more important, than elected and traditional government institutions.

ACPO set the fashion by being a private company that is somehow in charge of police, so who better than Asda to be in charge of the country’s moral wellbeing?

A man who was prevented from buying a bottle of wine in a Sussex supermarket because he was with his 15-year-old daughter has criticised its policy.

Mark Brown said he told staff at Asda in Brighton that the wine was for him.

But Mr Brown, who often shops with his daughter Madison, said he was told he could not be served the alcohol unless she had ID to prove her age.

Right, but even if she was going to drink it at home, it’s none of Asda’s fucking business.

A statement from Asda said it had been “erring on the side of caution in line with national guidelines”.

Yes, but it’s none of your fucking business. Why not be more cautious? Why not refuse to sell alcohol to someone who lives in a town where people are under the age of 18.

The company is one of several supermarkets using the new checkout policy in order to prevent individual members of staff from being prosecuted for selling alcohol to someone under age.

Yes, but he isn’t under age. Fucknuts.

Richard Dodd, of the British Retail Consortium, said: “I think parents should actually be reassured to see retailers being so rigorous in their determination not to sell alcohol to under-18s.”

Do you? Do you indeed. I think you should MIND YOUR OWN FUCKING BUSINESS. You righteous, preaching, self important little cuntwaft. Because the thing is, the guy that was buying the alcohol was over 18. Do you see?

Do you?

It’s very simple.

Cunts.

(Sorry, I try not to swear too much, but really, these fucktards should be lined up against a wall and be shot. And I’m virulently anti-death penalty.)

The One That Finds Them Inspiring. . .

Kids. They get a bad press.

Fear not, the skills of problem solving, lateral thinking and sticking it to the man are still very much alive in our kids.


Children taking part in a study to measure how much exercise they do fooled researchers by attaching their pedometers to their pet dogs.

That’ll teach the researchers to mind their own fucking business, won’t it?

All is not lost.

The One That Says ‘You Will Look How I Say’. . .

As a kid I remember England playing a qualifying match for the World Cup or Euros away to Albania. I also remember some genuine concerns about whether Chris Waddle would be admitted to the country due to his infamous mullet. Granted, even by 80′s footballer standards, it was shit, but I couldn’t get my head around the fact that you could be refused entry to a country just because your hair was business at the front and party at the back.

Nowadays I believe that the reverse is almost true, and that some pointed questions may be asked at passport control in Tirana if you turn up without a mullet.

Well, 80′s revival seems to be the in thing at the moment. God knows why, I remember the 80′s and am glad we’ve got 20 years distance between then and now. Still history repeats itself, and the latter day Enver Hoxha is revealed as Joe Langley, the NASUWT branch secretary in Salford.

This person has decided that it is very important to jump into the debate surrounding a moustache.

Yes. A moustache.

I feel a certain solidarity with 14 year old Akaash Iqbal. He has been banned (there’s that word again) for growing a moustache. Because? Well, as far as I can make out, because he’s grown a moustache.

He’s 14, when I was 14 I was turning into the hairy wolfman that sits before you today. My 5 0′clock shadow comes at about half twelve. I’m covered in the fucking stuff, and whilst I was at school, got so pissed off with the whole shaving lark, that I grew a full beard. Not some wispy poncy Che wannabe, the full beard like that bloke from Abba.

So yes, it ‘grips my shits’ to see this poor lad slung out for refusing to shave his face fungus off, and why the hell should he? It’s his bloody face. Where do these fuckers get off, what business it is of theirs? He is doing no damage to anyone. I’ve blogged in the past about kids being beaten at school by their classmates and the schools taking no action at all, but grow a ‘tache, you’re out of here son.

Let’s see what Enver Langley has to say:

Unless you start somewhere and make children abide by a code that’s the start of the slippery slope if you let them get away with it.

Sub the word children for teacher and that could have come out of the mouth of Ed Balls. Make children abide by a code? Yes, wholeheartedly. Here’s the code. Sit down, listen to your teacher, realise that you have to pick out the indoctrination. Be polite and respectful. Question everything you’re told, think for yourself and whatever you do, don’t conform. You’ll be a long time conforming, so express yourself now, you’re young, take the chance now because if you don’t, the opportunity may not arise again.

Anyhow. . .

All the school [Manchester Academy] is trying to do is enforce standards and I would have thought everyone would be onside with that.

Ahh yes, but who sets those standards? What if the standard was to dress in Waffen SS uniform, or to have only one book on the set text list, and you had to learn it by heart whilst rocking backwards and forwards?

Nasty controlling little fuckwits who are the first to moan when someone tells them to do something. It smacks of the parlour boy kicking the cat.

You go on and keep growing those whiskers Akaash, really put the cat amongst the pigeons and tell them you’ve converted to Sikhism, and then ask them about Kesh.

The One That Thinks This Is A Bloody Good Idea. . .

Reproduced from the LPUK blog and written by Ian P-J:

From Monday All your emails, web browsing history and mobile calls will be stored for a year due to sweeping new laws making Britain a proper kleptocracy, by order of the EU.

(On 15 March 2006 the European Union formally adopted Directive 2006/24/EC, on “the retention of data generated or processed in connection with the provision of publicly available electronic communications services or of public communications networks and amending Directive 2002/58/EC”)

Your web browsing will be stored from your ISP. The Government will force you to have it all revealed to them from your ISP. IP addresses the works.

Story in the Independent here

As a personal protest, I have created the following email signature, which will be added to each and every email that I send. I see this as a completely responsible act, one which does not break the law, but none-the-less an act of defiance, an act of rebellion against those who would take away my right to privacy, supposedly guaranteed by the European Charter of Human Rights, one which I hope will make those who draft such inept laws pay attention.

The following is a disclaimer and a protest at the collection, retention and sharing of my personal mail by the morally bankrupt state. By adding a string of key words, it will guarantee that each and every mail that I send will now need to be manually viewed as it is picked up by the auto scan software. If every person in the UK does exactly the same, then the entire system will quickly become so unmanageable, so unwieldy that it will become unworkable.

Key words, bomb, assassinate, president, brown, Osama, Obama, Sargozy, Merkel, government, target, location, rocket, grenade, al-Qaeda, Pakistan, India, Afghanistan, UK, America, guns, jets, bombs, machine-gun, terrorists, MP’s, pigs, troughs, France, Germany, Italy, nuclear, Korea.

It is time to stop meekly accepting everything that the government throws at us. It is time to stop listening to lily livered politicians who say this is OK, because it really is NOT OK. It is time to stop listening to the apologist organisations or committees who will accept this type of data collection with a rider of wanting a little more protection for the data.


I refuse to be intimidated by my own Government. It is time to make this kind of data collection unworkable.
Now Government, make me stop !!