Category Archives: lies.

What happened?

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I was reading one of the myriad of articles in the Torygraph on Gove’s courageous plan to resurrect the O level (stop sniggering at the back, you know what I’m talking about, you filthy minded little skit). For what it’s worth, I don’t see much wrong with the idea.

This post isn’t about education, but as we can’t escape the issue it seems obvious to me that the people who need to use qualification certificates as a frame of reference, that being employers and HE and FE institutions, seem to have little faith in them and this seems to be eroded year on year. I’m not at all confident that this isn’t an expensive piece of window dressing, the equivalent of giving a burning house a lick of masonry paint, but there you go. I see nothing wrong with testing, by which I mean challenging, students rather than testing students so a school can do well in a league table.

Education sucks in this country, it doesn’t deliver for the kids who are told they are all great, which is fine until they leave school and enter the real world, it doesn’t deliver for the universities, I know of one at least that brings in temp remedial staff at the start of every year because the freshers can’t do little things like write an intelligible sentence, it doesn’t deliver for the employer because the bit of paper is no guarantee of what they’ll be getting. The only people it does deliver for are the teachers so they can get some tractor production stats to show how great they are, and the politicians who will gleefully report these tractor production stats in the House to show how great they are. Frankly, I couldn’t give a toss about them, I care about the kids.

Now, a proper pass/fail challenging system will mean some kids will fail, but it doesn’t mean they are failures. All this talk of a two tier education system being a bad thing is bollocks. It is a good thing, or rather could be. I am not for one moment suggesting that kids be thrown on the scrap heap at 14 when the GCE/CSE split is made, because there is no need for that to happen at all. Look, some people are academically gifted, some are not, that doesn’t mean those that are academically gifted are intrinsically better than those who aren’t, they are just different.

What is not fair is the herding of every child through the door marked ‘exams’, it isn’t fair on the kids who are being set up to fail. It isn’t fair on the kids who would be set up to fail, but find that the system needs them to be a success so get sold a lump of fool’s gold. It isn’t fair on the kids who can succeed but find their success diluted. Sometime in the 60′s we got this idea that there’s something wrong with working with your hands, fifty years on we are seeing the results. With a good technical education and a sound foundation in basic academia these kids will be the plumbers, sparkies, chippies, mechanics, whatever of the future with the skills to do the work and run a business of their own. Surely that’s more valuable than a GCSE in Hollyoaks?

Anyhow, like I said, this post isn’t actually about education, it’s about this photo which accompanied a report in the Telegraph, I saw it and found myself asking ‘what happened?’

For the hard of seeing, the posters behind Gove carry the following messages:

  • Social responsibility not state control
  • Labour, telling people what to do since 1997
  • We’re all in this together
  • Labour, wasting your money since 1997
  • There is such a thing as society, it’s just not the same thing as the state
  • Bye Bye Bureaucracy

So, let’s review them, shall we?

Firstly, ID cards and those HIP things aside, I can think of no scaling back of state control. Indeed, given the proposed We’re Going To Be Keeping An Eye On Everything You Do Bill, all I can see is more state control. Oh dear.

Secondly, well they’ve certainly stopped Labour telling people what to do. Oh yes, they’re doing it instead now. Want a say on the EU? Shut it, peasant.

Thirdly, if we’re all in this together, then where the hell was my ticket to Mexico for the G20? Perhaps it was because I might have been a bit rude to the mad Argentine woman? Anyhow it must surely go down as one of the most asinine slogans in political history. Really. They might just have well gone with ‘Tories: We’ll do some stuff*’

Fourthly, see secondly.

Fifthly, see firstly.

Sixthly, big hairy bollocks. Once again HIPS aside, you’ve done nothing.

Before any of you Tories out there start dropping the Lib-Dem bomb, I call bullshit. It was bullshit from the start, which is why I didn’t bloody vote for you. You really must think we’re stupid, and obviously many people are, but not as many as you’d hoped. I do hope this crushing realisation is brought home to you when you sit round the cabinet table and see Clegg, Cable et al gurning back at you.

I mean, you’re not as bad as Labour, but that’s like saying stoning to death isn’t as bad as crucifixion.

They really are a bunch of ‘tards, the lot of ‘em. All three parties.

*Stuff liable to change without notice due to our attitude, your attitude, the weather, if we managed to get our leg over last night and/or what we’re having for dinner.

No, you don’t get it.

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It didn’t take long for the scandals to start, did it? What I have found really interesting over the whole Liam Fox affair is how people have reacted. It would have been a tut or a sneer and ‘typical Tories’ now it is a tut and a sneer and ‘typical politicians.’ But this is a Tory dominated government after all, I wonder how long it will take for the inevitable Tory MP screwing somebody else’s wife/husband/au-pair/gardener/zebra to be caught out and then pictured standing at the gate at the end of his drive with the dutiful wife in tow who will be ‘standing by him’. For the life of me I can’t figure out why she does it. Without doubt she is leant on by the party machinery, but there you go. I digress.

The Fox affair is naughty, but we’ve seen so much cronyism over the last couple of decades that it comes as no surprise, the only disappointment for me is the shrieking of Labour who are acting as if their shit doesn’t stink. Do they really think we’ve forgotten the Hinduja brothers, Bernie Ecclestone, the Bristol flats?

What has really annoyed me is this whole Letwin papers in park bins thing. Letwin claims that there was nothing sensitive, the Mirror claims that it was all classified stuff. So it is reasonable to assume that the truth lies somewhere in between. But that isn’t the issue. The issue is that Letwin can display such a shocking lack of judgement, and it is truly shocking even at a time when the actions of MPs rarely cause me any shock.

It shows a stunning lack of self awareness, it shows arrogance, complete disregard for his portfolio and total contempt for his constituents. How can a man who acts in a cavalier fashion such as this be fit to run an office State? It isn’t even the bin, it’s the fact he’s strolling around the park discussing government business on his phone where anyone could hear it. If I acted in such a fashion, I’d be sacked, and deservedly so. I don’t care if there was anything sensitive in the papers or not, I would never, never put so much as an email from a friend who was asking if I fancied a pint on Friday in a park bin, it is completely disrespectful. Just on the level of spam prevention you don’t splash peoples’ email addresses about, it is to be frank, a c**t’s trick.

What makes it worse was that Letwin’s apology appeared to have not one shred of sincerity about it, it may not be his fault, Letwin has a face that is easily given to looking smug, it may be his natural expression. But he has good reason to be smug, because he knows the inescapable truth. That is that 88% of the people who turned out to vote are stupid. They must be because after all the compound failures, the cock-ups and conspiracies, the scandals be they personal or party, the lies, the stealing, the nannying, the banning, the hypocrisy and double standards, the waste, the chutzpah and hubris, 88% of the turnout still saw fit to vote for the same old faces. These were the same old faces that promised us they’d changed, they’d learned their lesson, they’d listened to us. How many times have we heard this? How many times has the result been exactly the same?

I rail against the politicians, but in the end I wonder. If I were given the job of skippering a cross channel ferry, something I’ve no expertise in, and ploughed it into the side of an oil tanker, would I be at fault? Without doubt, but the subsequent investigation would lay the majority of the blame at the door of the board of Bloody Stupid Ferries Ltd for giving me the bridge in the first place.

Why do we persist in electing these shysters who have nothing but contempt for us? I despair. There is no great and sinister conspiracy, giant lizard people from space do not meet with the New World Order in smoke filled rooms and plot their plots. Our politicians cannot organise a coherent policy for catching fish, so they certainly don’t have the ability to pull the secret levers. What they can rely on is our total lack of imagination. We get what we deserve and what we ask for.

Our fault? No, it’s yours.

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So, the Tories are about to have their annual stage managed musical farce conference, and Baroness Warsi, the co-chair has stopped just short of telling the rank and file that it’s down to them to get the vote up. She uses terms like ‘reach out’ and other politico-asinine bollocks. When I heard what she said, all I heard was her putting in the ground to work to make sure that when the Tories get the pasting of all pastings from UKIP at the Europeans (stop sniggering at the back Labourites, let’s see how much of your support melts away to the BNP shall we? And as for you Lib Dems, well, there’s no point addressing them, I don’t think there’s any left) they can lay the blame squarely at the door of the campaigners.

How could people not vote Conservative? I mean, Theresa May’s announcement is music to the ears of the membership, isn’t it?

The Home Secretary’s words will be cheered by many Conservative MPs as well as Tory ministers across Whitehall.

Mrs May says today: “I see it, here in the Home Office, particularly, the sort of problems we have in being unable to deport people who perhaps are terrorist suspects. Obviously we’ve seen it with some foreign criminals who are in the UK.” The Coalition has set up a commission of human rights experts to report on the possibility of bringing in a British Bill of Rights to replace the Act by the end of next year.

Oh, Theresa, stop it. You’ll make the little office boy cry. The thing is, I’m not entirely sure this can be done, as it is derived from the European Convention of Human Rights, being a signatory of which is a condition of our membership of the EU.

Still, a British Bill of Rights. Can you imagine? That would be great.

If it hadn’t been written over 300 years ago.

We’ve already got one, you stupid bint. Jesus H. Christ on a little purple trike with a basket, bell, crash hat and hi-viz vest. How can you be Home Sec and not know about the 1689 Bill? We don’t need a new one. A new one is useless, mainly because successive generations have decided to completely ignore the original. Why would you pay any attention to the new one? And why do I get the feeling that a new Bill of Rights will follow the Napoleonic model? You know how it goes, in Europe, as a rule of thumb, any action is prohibited unless explicitly allowed, whereas in the UK any action is allowed unless explicitly prohibited. On the face of it a small difference, in reality a fecking enormous one. We don’t need a Bill giving us rights, they aren’t yours to give, that was established in 1215 for crying out loud.

Anyhow, I digress. There’s no chance we’ll get rid of the Human Rights Act whilst we’re still in the EU, and Cameron still maintains that we need to stay in, and because that’s what he wants, that’s what will happen. This is yet another cast iron guarantee job here, it’s a naked attempt to placate the proles before the big party, make sure they’re on their best behaviour.

Who gives a pair of dingo’s kidneys what the membership or the electorate want? They did their job, the membership elected him, the country elected him, now they should sit down, shut up and do what they are told. I’ve a feeling that if/when a debate is held on our EU membership, if it isn’t kicked into the long grass or filibustered, that there will be a whip involved. He really doesn’t want us to have a say, he’s in charge, he’s worked so hard for it. Who are we to start making demands? It’s all so unfair.

And the rank and file are supposed to sell this to the electorate? Well, good luck with that, you’d be better off trying to sell Boy George CD’s at a Klan rally.

Lovely new tractors.

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So, the new tractor production figures are in, and guess what? We’ve made more than ever before!

A-level pass rates have risen to 97.8% – another record high – but the share of entries getting the highest grade has remained unchanged from last year at 27%.

The overall pass rate has risen for the 29th successive year in results published on Thursday for 250,000 candidates in England, Northern Ireland and Wales.

‘The kids can’t win; when they get a good result the exams have got easier, if they don’t succeed it is because they’re thick’ was one of the comments I heard today.

The whole thing is deeply unfair. It is unfair because the kids that really do deserve to hit the heights have to share the limelight with those who maybe aren’t so deserving, it seems to me to be an unfortunate by-product of the prizes for all culture and a society where every organisation talks in vacuous terms about ‘delivering excellence’. It is also unfair on the kids who are at the bottom of the scale, they’ve been lied to. It doesn’t mean they’re thick or useless, but this educational inflation is devaluing their work. I know people who run businesses who look at examination certificates and literally do not believe that they are worth the paper they are written on. As with a currency, as soon as the market loses faith in and respect for it, it becomes worthless, regardless of how many politicians and politically run central banks say what a wonderful thing it is.

The result? These kids who have been told by the system that they are superb find out they’ve been sold a pup, and we get to the ridiculous situation where sandwich shops are demanding applicants hold top grade A levels. When that happens you get a large number of people who find that despite everything they’ve been told, it is almost impossible to get a job with prospects. That sort of thing could lead to riots and looting, it’d certainly make me pretty angry.

Meanwhile, the universities have a devil of a job identifying the people who should be going on to tertiary education.

What really annoys me is when people react haughtily to a suggestion that the system is broken by snapping that the kids have worked really hard. I’m sure they have, but effort does not necessarily equal success, I could work really hard at being a back stroke swimmer, but even if I trained and gave it my all, I still wouldn’t be going to the Olympics any time soon, or ever. I’m just not equipped to do it. Somehow I don’t think the revelation that I’d worked very hard would cut any ice with the selectors.

The system we have tells the kids they are better than they are, is incapable of recognising those who really are the academic elite (and, Righteous, there’s nothing wrong with recognising an elite when it is based on ability) and fails to prepare those who go through the system for life in the real world. How often do we hear about the inability of our glorious A level holders being unable to draft a formal letter or follow simple instructions, or that come into work with unrealistic expectations about what they should be doing as an entry level employee, or submitting an application form or CV composed in txt speek, riddeld with speling erors and gramer mistakes?

And whilst this going on, we have TV mathematicians demanding people study the subject until they’re 18, because they leave school without being able to do fractions and algebra.

Carol, sweetheart, they’ve not taught them by the time they’re 16, why do you think two years is going to make a difference? It isn’t the time spent, it is the quality on offer. The system is broken, and we’re supposed to believe that this system has resulted in 97.8% getting a good qualification? Come on.

And then there’s university. We now have more universities than ever, and more people attending universities than ever. That’s a good thing, right? Or is it that the educational inflation is pushing ever upwards, devaluing what was once the pinnacle? Are we to believe that an MSc in, say, chemical engineering from Oxbridge is as valuable as an MA in graphic design from The University of Anyshire (formerly Anontown Poly)?

The deceit continues, fed the line that the success at A level will count for nothing until you have the degree to follow it, students take out huge loans to pay for these courses which the public purse can no longer afford to fund. They are now starting to discover that business is getting uncomfortable about the quality of these degrees. And they get saddled with loans that they will find very difficult to pay off.

For what it is worth, I think it is a sensible investment for the State to fund some places on some courses, courses which will benefit the nation. Not entire courses, a given number of places on courses involving engineering, for example, to go to the real achievers, regardless of their background. I do not have a problem with the youngsters having to fund their studies, but, and this is absolutely paramount, they must be able to make that decision free of interference from a system that tells them they are brilliant when they are average, and they are good when they are below average, and a university system which is in danger of become a grasping milker of 18 year olds. It is not fair to sell a dream which cannot be recognised.

Unfortunately, the exam results are not about the students. It is about the politicians, having a stick with which to beat the other side. It is about the league tables for the schools to get funding, and for heads of department to show how great they are when they go for the deputy head jobs, and for the deputy heads when they go for head teacher jobs.

The stats are suspect at best. I can think of no area where results improve year, upon year, upon year, upon year, upon year with no blips, dips, plateau or variation. 97.8% of candidates passed? Really? 97.8% probably voted for Mugabe, according to him. It just doesn’t stand up to credibility testing.

It is cynical, an utter betrayal by a system of a section of society who have no voice, are almost obliged to go through it (there is home schooling, your child has to be in education, that does NOT mean school) and do not have the facility to challenge it.

What changed?

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So, what changed inbetween this statement from 2009 by the large foreheaded, fey, chinless wannabe PM:

And this statement from 2011 by the large foreheaded, fey, chinless actual PM?

Could it be that the EU has transformed into a shining paragon of virtue?

No.

Could it be that the Lisbon Treaty was resoundingly rejected by the Irish a second time?

No.

Could it be that Labour won the last general election, thereby ensuring there was no way for i-Dave to live up to his promise.

No.

Could it be that our Prime Minister is a duplicitous, deceitful, lying, opportunist, arseclown who would promise us all a pet unicorn if he thought it would get him one extra vote?

Could be.

Could it be that our Prime Minister is so thoroughly in thrall to the EU that he wouldn’t dare go against them?

Could be.

Could it be that our Prime Minister is so scared of the EUphile LimpDims calling time on his little party, that he would sell our country’s future down the river, just to ensure that he remains in power?

Could be.

Isn’t it funny how the desire to get into the big chair makes you tell terrible, terrible lies, and how the desire to make sure you stay in the big chair means you piss all over everyone who put you there?

Why the hell do people persist in voting for the big three when they know what is going to happen? Is it stupidity, gullibility or negligence?

Don’t blame me, I didn’t vote for him.

h/t to Campaign for Independent Britain via facebook.

Duplicity? No. A bloody lie.

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Guido has very kindly coralled all the relevants cuttings over at his gaff, so there’s little for me to do but to add my own comments.

August 2009:

“Gordon Brown today broke his silence on the release of the Lockerbie bomber, saying that the UK government had done no deal with Libya and that he was “angry and repulsed” at the scenes of jubilation in Tripoli.”

September 2009 (Gordon Brown): 

“On our part, there was no conspiracy, no cover-up, no double-dealing, no deal on oil, no attempt to instruct Scottish ministers, no private assurances by me to (Libyan leader) Colonel (Muammar) Gaddafi. We were absolutely clear throughout with the Libyans and everyone else that this was a decision for the Scottish government.”

Today:

“The former Labour Government did “all it could” to help Libya secure the release of the Lockerbie bomber, Britain’s most senior civil servant is to admit today”

“Policy was, therefore, progressively developed that Her Majesty’s Government should do all it could, while respecting devolved competencies, to facilitate an appeal by the Libyans to the Scottish government for Abdelbaset Ali Mohmed al-Megrahi’s release under the Prisoner Transfer Agreement (PTA) or for release on compassionate grounds. Such an approach was understood across all relevant departments.”

There are serious doubts in my mind as to whether al-Megrahi was the perp here. The public were demanding that someone be locked up for it, it was perhaps politically convenient to both the UK and Libyan governments at the time that al-Megrahi should be that man.

But, for the Prime Minister to wilfully mislead the country and the House is unforgivable. Yes, we all know that politicians lie, but there are lies and there are lies. Bugger an inquest, let’s just go straight to the prosecutions, shall we?

I’m no lover of the coalition shouting match we have at the moment, but it will be a long, long time until we see a government as deceitful, arrogant, hubristic and contemptible as the one that was thrown out last year. I hope it is equally as long until anyone from the Labour party gets their hands on the lever of power again, and I wish that the last Labour government is just that, the last one.   

The One That Was Waiting. . .

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Didn’t take long, did it?

I’ve been waiting for the clangers to drop, and now they’re dropping. It was only a matter of time until this new administration proved itself to be as hopeless as the one that came before.

First there was Oiky Gove’s arseing up of the school lists. Nice one. Too soon to be sacked, I would think. That, and the fact that he’s one of Dave’s star performers. God help them. 13 years they’ve been itching to get back in, and the first opportunity they get, they screw it right up.

And people wonder I have so little faith in the State organising stuff. It’s because of things like this. Just because one is an elected MP and appointed by a bloke who didn’t do enough to win an election that a flatulent amputee giraffe could have won, doesn’t mean that you’re actually any good. Walking into a government office, and sitting in a government chair, behind a government desk doesn’t mean what you do will be any good. People don’t seem to realise this, I have friends who really do believe that if the government takes control of something, it will, somehow, be alright in the end.

I believe that if the government takes control of something, it will, inevitably, a twisted, burning wreck before Countdown goes on air that afternoon.

Then, we have the farce of Clegg’s repeal act. I could bang on about it, but why bother when two of the best in the business, Leg-Iron and Dick Puddlecote, don’t just hit the nail on the head, they drive it through the wood, the workbench and into the floor.

It makes me angry, but what really exasperates me is the low level, mean spirited and small minded idiocy that pervades our lives on so many levels.

I couldn’t care less what you believe, I have no objections. Two caveats; don’t restrict anyone else’s activities, don’t try and make me sing your hymns.

Even worse, when morons, no doubt well intentioned, go and restrict other peoples’ activities on behalf of people who are quite capable of making judgements for themselves. You could pick from a plethora of examples, but let’s take this one from Stoke on Trent Council.

Swimming lessons in some Staffordshire schools should stop during Ramadan to ensure Muslim pupils “do not swallow water”, a council has suggested.

Stoke-on-Trent City Council has issued an 11-page Ramadan guide for schools to help pupils who may be fasting when the school year starts in September.

It said swimming was acceptable to Muslims but posed a high risk of swallowing water that may break a fast.

Islam requires Muslims to fast from dawn until dusk for one month per year.

OK, so if the Muslim parents or indeed the Muslim child decides that they don’t want swimming on the agenda, then fine, don’t go. I wouldn’t expect them to be penalised or punished for it. That’s what you believe, then that’s fine. It has no adverse effect on anyone else.

But no, you see, you can’t have that.

Schools with a significant number of Muslim pupils should try to avoid scheduling swimming lessons during Ramadan to remove unnecessary barriers to full participation.

No-one must be allowed to swim. If denying everyone a swim isn’t a barrier to full participation, then I don’t know what is.

I despair, I really do despair. It is precisely this sort of action which means that people of different race, religion, sexuality or any other quality which is relevant only to the individual concerned, will only ever look upon the other with resentment and mistrust.

I fear we can elect as many new politics, coalition governments we like, it will make no difference, the bastards have taken over, I really don’t see what we can do about it, all the time people are scared of being branded racists and Nazis.

The One That Is Tired. . .

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I’m beyond anger now. The flames of rage have burned themselves out, all that remains are the smouldering ashes.

I’m tired of the lies, I’m tired of the double standards, I’m tired of the burying of evidence, I’m tired of the whole bloody lot.

It used to be the lies that annoyed me most. I used to be incredulous that we would be expected to swallow the rubbish that was spooned our way. It wasn’t just the lie, it was the fact that we were held in such low esteem that we were honestly expected to believe them. And if we didn’t believe the lies, we were expected to believe the lies that they told to cover up the lies. And now they are such stupid lies, such inconsequential little lies.

I’m talking about David Wright’s Twitter-bollocks. I can only work on the balance of probability. Is it probable that a Labour whip who has used the term in the past would refer to the Tories as being ‘scum-sucking’? Yes, it is eminently probable. Let’s face it, the Tories are jumping up and down about it, but I’m sure we’ve all been called worse.

Jesus, they’re so bloody precious, aren’t they? It doesn’t make it right or acceptable, but it isn’t exactly invading Poland, is it?

The whole thing would have disappeared if he’d said ‘Yeah, I done it. I’m naughty, but they’re naughtier, so boo sucks.’

But no, he then tries to tell us that he has the been the victim of a terrible crime, someone has altered his twitter post.

But ho, ho, ho. What’s this? Guido points out that once a tweet is out there, it is unalterable. A stupid, pathetic little lie, and we’re supposed to trust these people on the big stuff when they lie about stupid little non-stories like this?

Look, you foetid little arse-boil, insult the Tories all you like, but don’t insult my fucking intelligence.

And just like that the rage is gone, like a magnesium ribbon passed through the flame of a bunsen.

It is replaced with the determination that I will see these people out of a job for a long, long time if it is the last thing I do. They are pathetic. They are beneath my contempt. They shall pay.

But it isn’t the just the lies. It is the shameless feathering of nests, stealing, bending rules, unequal application of rules and naked self interest.

Once again, I can only work on the balance of probability. Is it probable, given her mania about all women shortlists, that Harridan Harperson was unable to attend a meeting to force her agenda upon one of the safest Labour seats in the country? No, not really. Perhaps it is just about credible, she is after all the deputy PM and so really is probably very busy. But then she’s been able to implement this in other seats, so her job obviously doesn’t trump her personal ‘equality’ agenda all the time, does it?

What destroys that credibility is when you realise that her husband is now in the frame for that seat.

How fucking stupid do you think we are? That’s another one logged, Harriet, another entry in the Labour debit column. But hell, it’s your party, not mine. But how many will look at this shameless example of nepotism and think to themselves on the big day, ‘You know what? No, I don’t think I will vote Labour this time’?

Neither of these are enough to lose an election, but it is a drip-drip effect, and each little lie, each little episode of troughing, each little case of self-interest turns more and more people off. Each one will cost you ten, a hundred, a thousand votes. Add them all together and you get tens of thousands of votes, hundreds of thousands, perhaps even millions.

You think we won’t notice, you think that because it isn’t splashed across the newspapers it won’t really matter. But it does matter and we do notice, and you will pay.

Then you know what? The Tories will do just the same, and the cycle will repeat, as it has done for generations, until one time, the electorate say ‘no more’. It doesn’t have to be violent, or angry, or desperate, it just takes a quiet, steely determination that we have had quite enough of this now.

It won’t happen this time, but it might just happen the time after.

The One That Hopes He Is Entitled. . .

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MPs are obviously entitled to a large chunk of our money. That’s why the keep taking it from us. On the flimsiest of pretences.

It therefore should not come as a surprise that other people see these lying, venal, theiving troughers and decide that they want a slice of that pie.

It would appear that this is what Hasanali Khoja decided to do. And boy, has he been busted. This is about a police chef, rather than a police chief.

A Muslim chef who lost a claim of religious discrimination against Scotland Yard after complaining he was forced to cook sausages and bacon faces a legal bill of more than £75,000.

The One That Is Saying ‘Oh No It Isn’t!’. . .

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I love this time of year, and I love panto.

Oh, no, hang on. That’s not true. I hate panto.

Anyhow, here is a clip of Al Gore telling anyone who cares to listen that the arctic polar ice caps will disappear within 5 years.

No, it isn’t at Copenhagen, it’s at the opening of a dinosaur park (????) in Germany and was posted on 13th December 2008.

Today is 14th December 2009 and Sky News are reporting on TV (not yet on website) that Gore has told Copenhagen that there is a 70% chance that the arctic ice caps could disappear in the summer period within the next 5 to 7 years. There’s a weasely little argument. There’s a chance that something might happen, over some vague period of time. No evidence, no debate, an assertation. It can not be proved or disproved, except with hindsight, but you’ll just keep resetting the clock, won’t you?

Tell me Al, is this 5 years from today, or is it really 4 years? Will you say the same thing with the same time scale this time next year, and the year after that? Will you still be saying this in 2020? Why do you say this in the run up to Christmas every year? Presents to buy? What is the size of the arctic ice now, as compared to the previous ten years, say? (I don’t know the answer, I haven’t checked)

If the news is accurate, it would seem that the developing nations in Africa have spat the dummy and walked out. Is it because of their burning desire to see Gaia saved? Or is it that they can make a huge pile of aid cash out of this, most of which will end up in Swiss numbered bank accounts?

Assuming this walk out means that Copenhagen is a dead duck (expect China, India and the Saudis to say ‘Oh, what’s the point?’) and no deal is in the offing, what will you say in 2014, 2015 and 2016 when August comes and the arctic ice caps are still very much there, Al? Indeed what will you say if the summer coverage has actually increased?

You run the risk of making some people very angry, and an electric car is no good for running away from baying mobs with sets of gallows on wheels.

Oh, what am I thinking? You won’t have an electric car, will you Al? You’re far too important for that, you are doing the work of the Great Green God, like the leader of some wierd cult, your needs are paramount. It’s only little people that are killing the planet.