Category Archives: justice

You are under arrest for. . .

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. . . not telling.

Having been locked up, you will be denied access to your barrister, due to national security considerations. Your barrister will not be permitted to examine the evidence against you, it is not in the public interest.

Having been locked up, you will have a special advocate appointed on your behalf. You will be denied the opportunity to speak to him, due to national security considerations Your own legal representatives will be prohibited from speaking to him. 

You will not be permitted to challenge the evidence against you. It is sensitive.

Your prosecution will be held in secret.

The verdict of the court will remain a secret.

Your detention will continue for an indeterminate period.

Unfortunately this is not the mantra of the Soviet Ministry of Justice. Not even they would have done this, they’d have just held a show trial, or summarily beaten their ‘criminal’ to death in the cells. This, this is worse.

Who is the architect of this chilling and frankly terrifying plan?

In a foreword to the Green Paper, Justice Secretary Kenneth Clarke claims these ‘commonsense proposals’ would merely ‘better equip our courts to pass judgment in cases involving sensitive information’.

But of course, it could never be used against you. Oh no, don’t be worried, it’ll only be used against naughty brown people. We can trust the politicians to do the right thing. Can’t we?

Civil liberties? Still think that Labour, the Tories and Lib Dems will look out for your interests? Then you’re an idiot.

This shows Clarke to be one of the most disgusting, revolting and. . . words really do fail me, really. That a Secretary of State would suggest such a thing is beyond a pale. That a deputy PM and a PM would allow it to come out is unthinkable, for the opposition to make a fuss about a quip aimed at their shadow chancellor instead shows how concerned they are for you as opposed to their own image.

All the three main parties show themselves to be morally and politically bankrupt, by releasing this green paper and/or not kicking up the mother of all fusses about it they have demonstrated, once again, that they are totally unfit for power. This is an attack on the concept of justice that has served us well for nigh on 800 years and is an assault on the people.

This is treason.

We must break these people, before they break us.

Or alternatively you could go back to watching slebs ice skating. You’ll not find me sympathetic when the knock comes on your door at 3am.

Compare and contrast.

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An internet blogger has been jailed for 12 years after admitting soliciting the murder of MPs who had voted in favour of the Iraq War.

Now, he’s a very naughty boy. I may occasionally talk about lamposts and piano wire, but I don’t for one moment counsel such a course of action. You can’t go round inciting people to murder and expect to be given a free pass. And even accounting for:

Bilal Zaheer Ahmad, 23, from Wolverhampton, was also sentenced for other terrorism offences.

We have to assume that as these ‘other terrorism offences’ aren’t disclosed in the article that they aren’t sufficiently sexy or, dare I say it, explosive to bother about.

12 years does seem a little steep, mind. Trying to get someone to off an MP is one thing, actually making them do it is another. Given that no-one is in the dock on a charge of conspiracy to do so, or on a charge of actually doing it suggests he wasn’t that effective.

In what has been a bad news day for my fair city of Canterbury, I cannot help compare the sentence handed down to Ahmad with the sentence handed down to our former Sheriff:

A former Sheriff of Canterbury has been sent to prison today after admitting indecently assaulting a vulnerable youngster and downloading child pornography.

It turns out he’s got a young girl to undress and sit on his lap, he also seems to have, somehow, managed to get himself into a situation where he’s been able to grope a woman under her clothing, and also whilst she was in bed. I’m assuming he wasn’t in the bed at the time. Then there’s the 11 charges of indecent images, including sado-masochism being visited upon one poor child that he’s also been convicted of.

Fisher [. . .] was jailed for a total of 15 months and banned him from working with children for 10 years.

Really? 15 months?

I’m not going to blame the judge as she has a framework she has to work from, but it doesn’t seem right to me that writing about killing MPs is in the eyes of the courts almost ten times as worse as actually engaging in a physical act of sexual abuse against a child.

Something is very wrong here.

And another one . . .

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Isn’t it weird that when Ken Clarke starts banging on about the right to defend oneself that we now start getting cases that fit the bill?

An elderly shopkeeper has been arrested on suspicion of attempted murder after a armed raider was killed in a botched robbery and a second left in hospital.

Attempted? He’s dead mate. Anyway, I thought this was a defensible course of action now. Scrub that, I thought this had always been a defensible course of action.

Cecil Coley, 72, is in police custody today after dramatic scenes at a florists on Shewsbury Street, Old Trafford, at 9.40pm last night.

 

It is understood the shop was closed at the time and Mr Coley, a well-known Jamaican man known as ‘Papa’ in the community, was playing dominoes with a friend inside when two men armed with. . .

(wait for it)

. . . guns broke in.

 

A struggle followed which saw one of the raiders, a 30-year-old man, fatally stabbed in the chest.

So, two strapping young blokes, tooled up with shooters (as I believe the criminal fraternity phrase it) burst in on an OAP and get stabbed? You’re not supposed to lose when you bring a gun to a knife fight. He probably died of shame.

A second man, who was wearing a mask, was seen running away from the premises.

 

It is thought he went to Manchester Royal Infirmary later where he was treated for a stab wound.

Fair play Papa, is what I say.

A police source said: “Early indications are that this is a robbery that has gone wrong.”

No shit.

The shopkeeper was described by residents as a regular church-goer who had run the shop as a fancy goods store for 40 years before handing it over to his children and retiring six weeks ago. They have been running it as a florists.

 

Local resident Leon Richards, 33, said: “He’s a proud man, very proud of his family. He used to go to the local church regularly and was a real part of the community.

 

“He is a quiet man, but a good man. He never caused anyone any trouble, he just got on with his business.”

Excellent, so when he’s described as being ‘well known’ in the community that isn’t code for him being some Yardie honcho. Well known would appear to mean a decent, respected and admired gentleman.

Perhaps if we get three of four more of these cases, and if, as is right, no action is taken against those who are defending themselves, the message may get back to the sort of sub-human scum who think it is OK to rob 72 year old shopkeepers at gunpoint. The message? Your turn to be scared.

Free Cecil Coley. Free the Manchester One.

 

Well, shucks.

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Police said the stabbed man was found on Hospital Road and died a short time later.


Ch Supt Kevin Mulligan, who heads Greater Manchester Police’s Salford division, said the man suffered “at least one stab wound” during an altercation in the house involving at least one person from the address and four people breaking in.


He said he could not comment further on the injuries or the cause of death until a post-mortem examination had been carried out.

Jesus, so four people break into someone’s house and the householder gets stabbed to death?

Well, no, not exactly.

A burglar has been stabbed to death and the householder arrested on suspicion of murder after an attempted break-in at his house in Salford.

Four masked men attempted to get into a house in Ethel Avenue before midnight on Wednesday.

So, four masked men broke into someone’s house and one of the intruders got stabbed and died. Well, them’s the breaks, the stabber was probably scared out of his wits. The fact that there was only one stabee and that he only got stuck once would suggest that this was not a frenzied, rage fuelled attack of revenge. Preditcably:

Peter Flanagan, 57, son Neil, 29, and his son’s girlfriend are being held.


The men and the 21-year-old woman are being questioned on suspicion of murder.

I cannot and do not support the death penalty, but if you and three mates mask up and break into someone’s house, all bets are off. This, from the evidence at hand, seems to be a clear case of defense of property and life. In my opinion, a murder charge is not appropriate.

It is possible that the CPS will go for manslaughter, but even though the defender may end up escaping a jail term, he or she will still be stuck with a criminal record that could effect their life for the rest of their days. It seems unfair in the extreme to me.

Meanwhile over the pond:

No problem for law enforcement over there, and quite right too, you cannot cross someone’s threshold and expect to be protected. IF the homeowner is lying in wait with the plan to kill the intruder, that is different, but in my opinion in a heat of the moment reaction there should be only one outcome. No charge.

Just to show there’s no honour amongst thieves:

The stabbed man, 26, is believed to have been carried away by the other intruders as they fled, before being dumped in a street in Pendlebury.

Classy.

Clots, or how the system can work.

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I’m waiting for the wailing, but it hasn’t started yet. It will do once the Righteous finish their organic, free range, home knitted yoghurt, unhusked bran and pond water smoothies this morning.

Two events this week are proof if proof be need be that there is a new menace on our streets. Surely something must be done?

I give you Exhibit A:

A third teenager has appeared in court in connection with an airgun attack near a school in which 11 youngsters were injured.

The 15-year-old boy, who cannot be named for legal reasons, was charged at Ayr Sheriff Court with assault.

He made no plea or declaration and was released on bail.

Two youths have already been charged over the incident in Auchinleck, East Ayrshire, on Wednesday lunchtime.

Five girls and six boys aged between 12 and 16 were struck by pellets in the Church Street area of the town. 

No-one was seriously injured.

And Exhibit B:

SOCCER ace Ashley Cole left a fan “bleeding profusely” after shooting him at Chelsea’s training ground, it has been reported. 

The controversial England defender allegedly took a .22 air rifle – the most powerful gun available without a licence in the UK – with him to training last Sunday.

The News of the World reports that Cole was messing around with the weapon in the dressing room when he inadvertently shot Tom Cowan, a sports science student on work placement with Chelsea.

It is high time that these weapons were banned before some other poor innocent bystander is injured in a slightly inconvenient manner which doesn’t threaten their lives in the slightest.

I’m being slightly flippant. I’d be really pissed off if some lack-wit arseclown shot me with an air gun, and yes, to wheel out the favourite line of safety types, someone could have lost an eye.

But let’s face facts here, the system appears to be working. The clots in Scotland are up before the beak, and because they’ve not done something really heinous, like dropping some fag ash on the floor, or something trivial like stubbing said cigarette out on a baby, they’ll probably get a sentence that fits the crime.

Meanwhile Mr. Cole, a man who is a better clot than he is a left back, and he’s a world class left back, probably thought he got away with it, but may find that now that the news of the screws has got hold of it he may face some action after all. The damage this article has done to his reputation is nil, due to the fact that his reputation is already lower than a snake’s belly anyway.

What is it about some professional footballers (certainly not all, it is always the same half a dozen names that crop up) that makes them act like a complete arse?

There are differences between these cases, the lads in Scotland acted with malice and should be treated accordingly by the courts. Cashley was just an idiot, I don’t think there was any intent, but it is symptomatic of his class. He’s famous and rich, so whilst what happened to the young student in question is regrettable it will be just a bit of a joke to him, as the other guy isn’t rich and famous and doesn’t really count. We’ve seen time and time again how Cole has little regard for others, especially ‘little people’, if he’s put up before the beak what can we expect? A fine and a victim surcharge which will never get anywhere near the victim and will not even make a dent in his wage packet of £100k per week plus. If I were given free reign, I’d give an order to spend the next 4 months training with his local TA regiment, where he would learn weapons discipline, get some humility and order, and if the evenings when the regiment train happen to clash with evenings when Chelsea play, then tough luck, perhaps the lost income will make you consider your actions in the future. It may also give him an appreciation of proper teamwork and the lot of those who do properly important jobs. His crime is not malice, it is a selfish lack of thought.

Of course that won’t happen, but I can dream, can’t I?

Nevertheless, the calls for the banning of air guns will probably grow in volume, because it is so much easier to call for the restriction of items than to hold those who misuse them to account for their actions. Once again, the majority will be made to suffer for the idiotic actions of the minority.

*Prize of a juicy bone to the person who points out the gratuitous Chris Morris reference.

Food for thought.

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This woman is 51.

Gillian McKeith used to claim to be a doctor, until she was told to stop it. She promotes herself as a ‘nutritionalist’. TV has bought into this in the UK and across the Atlantic. She has had TV shows where she advocates a ‘holistic’ approach to nutrition and ill health, promoting exercise, a pescetarian diet high in organic fruits and vegetables. She recommends detox diets colonic irrigation and supplements, also making statements that yeast is harmful, that the colour of food is nutritionally significant, and about the utility of lingual and faecal examination. She is a brow-beating, shreiking, foot-stamping, Righteous, harridan.

I’m betting she eats alone, in silence, probably indulging in a spot of scouring at the same time.



This woman is 50.

Nigella Lawson is a TV cook. Her entire output would have McKeith going purple with rage. She eats nothing but meat, butter and deserts. Half-fat is a mystery to her. No meal is complete without accompanying alcohol. She is one of the most popular figures in the UK. Admired by women for showing that real women exist and loved by men because, well, look at her.

I’m betting she eats with friends and family, surrounded by contented chatter and laughter. Except when she’s tucking into the leftover chocolate mousse just before going to bed.

These two pictures demonstrate what the Righteous, the people that would have you smoke-free, drink-free, fat-free, friend-free, choice-free, freedom-free actually look like, and what they want you to look like. It also shows how those who want everyone to spend the time we have on this Earth actually living and loving, rather than surviving and cowering in fear, look.

Which would you rather be?

The Delusions of the Criminal.

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What a shame to see Tommy Sheridan sent down for three years today. I hope he enjoys his first night in Barlinnie.

I just couldn’t help but respond to his reaction to the verdict and sentence.

This multi million-pound prosecution will separate me from my wife and child and that will be heartbreaking.

Well, yes. But it could all have been avoided if you hadn’t, you know, lied through your teeth in court.

But I will continue to fight a system that protects the real criminals – the rich and powerful.

Ah yes, the old Socialist mantra, rich equals evil. But where do you draw the line? Let’s take Lord ‘Sirallun’ Sugar. As he’s so fond of telling us, he started out selling tat from the back of his van in the East End, with a 20p loan from his old man, or something. At that point he was poor, he then progressed to being comfortable, before arriving at the station marked rich. But where are the dividing lines between the three? At what point did he become criminal in his richness? Who did he injure or hurt whilst he followed his programme of selling cheap electricals?

Does one become rich when say, ooooh, I don’t know, £200,000 pounds falls into your lap? £200k which you got by lying?

I have today instructed my solicitor to lodge an appeal against conviction.

As is your right. I don’t think you’ll win though.

But also to launch legal action against the News of the World, the Metropolitan Police and Glenn Mulcaire over phone hacking.

And what in the wide, wide world of sports does that have to do with you being the most terrible liar?

In addition my solicitors will begin to contact a dossier of Scottish names handed to them of those whose phones may have been hacked.

May have been hacked? May? Angus McTavish. That’s a Scottish name. Jock Campbell, there’s another. Do you have any proof? It’d be terrible if you found yourself on the end of a defamation suit, wouldn’t it?

Andy Coulson may have resigned for the second time but if he and others are not above the law then it is time that they faced justice.

Again? What does that have to do with you being a liar, liar pants on fire?

That chapter is yet to be written.

Yes, and we’ll enjoy reading it hugely, I could do with a laugh.

His wife is equally as loopy.

Tommy has dedicated his life to helping others.

Yes, as long as they sing the hymns they are told to. He’s also dedicated his life to helping himself of large amounts of Rupert Murdoch’s cash, by telling the most awful lies.

The real reason why he’s been imprisoned today is because he has fought injustice and inequality with every beat of his heart.

No, the reason he’s been imprisoned today is because he is a bloody liar, and lied under oath, whilst taking someone else for every penny he could get. But hey! It’s OK, because they are rich, and therefore by Tommy’s definition, criminals.

But it won’t be long before Tommy is back stronger and continuing the fight.

Yeah, about three years. Continuing the fight? Against what? Strengthening his already fleeting relationship with reality?

She then went off to have a few miniatures of Famous Grouse and Remy Martin she happened to have lying around the place. (possibly)

His mates are snivelling as well.

Solidarity will continue to give our full backing and support and backing to Tommy, and in particular to Gail Sheridan and the family at this difficult time.

Well, with a name like Solidarity, you couldn’t very well not, could you? Come back and say hello in three years, see where you are then.

Neither Tommy Sheridan nor Solidarity will be broken. We stand, as always, in solidarity.

Oooh, does that mean you’re all going to get an arsehole like the Japanese flag as well?

Solidarity condemns as barbaric and draconian the sentence imposed today on Tommy Sheridan. We believe the lengthy jail term imposed by the judge is vindictive.

Possibly, but then for some reason judges take a dim view of people standing in their courtroom, promising to tell the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth and then committing perjury. It annoys them. It’s a funny little thing, but that’s just the way some people are.

It will reinforce the widespread view that this is the culmination of a brutal vendetta carried out by the rich and powerful against Scotland’s most prominent socialist.

Widespread? Amongst whom? What’s it like in the land of talking trees and chocolate bees? I was talking to a colleague who is as red as red can be, and even he was chuckling about it, saying how it had cheered him up.

Not all of his former mates are so keen though, there’s the frantic sound of back pedaling here:

Today’s proceedings finally end the ill-advised action Tommy Sheridan initiated six years ago in suing a tabloid over allegations he knew to be true.

He alone is responsible for where he sleeps tonight, no-one else. He pursued legal action full in the knowledge he would lie in court.

He asked his closest political allies and friends to join him in that crazy strategy and then turned on us because we refused.

He still shows no sign of taking responsibility for his own actions.

Quite. The most sensible thing that has been said from those around this ridiculous caricature of a man in a long, long time.

Seriously Tommy, give it up. You’re starting to look properly mad here, real dressing up as Napoleon and persecution complex stuff. You gave it your best shot, I can’t blame you for that. You’ve got through more briefs than Nick Faldo has had golf clubs, but you’ve lost, you deserved to lose, you were always going to lose. You’re one step shy of being carted off to the McFunny Farm.

No, no, no, no. That’s a no.

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Another assault on our God given rights today. This is not a civil liberty, this is not a ‘nice to have in the ideal world’, this is not an ‘only if you qualify.’

This cannot be taken away. It is not in Parliament’s power to remove from us the inalienable rights which were granted to us by God before Parliament came to be.

When Louise Casey says that:

“We should not view the right to a jury trial as being so sacrosanct that its exercise should be at the cost of victims of serious crimes”

She is attempting to usurp God, she is placing herself above the concept of the Almighty creator that is so important to the constitution of the country. She is also portraying herself as one of the most disgusting, odious, objectionable people in the country.

Victims’ Commissioner? What? We are all victims if this is introduced. If I were to be tried under this scheme by a Magistrate, I would find myself in Court refusing to comply or cooperate and shouting, very loud, that my God given rights had been infringed by a body which has no power to do so.

Perhaps the money spent on this department would be better spent on the Police or Courts Service, because I’ll tell you what victims want; they want the criminal who has wronged them to be caught, arrested, tried, convicted and sentenced to a proper punishment that is really, properly proportionate to the offence committed. What they don’t want is another self-important, attention whoring, mindless fucking quango headed up by another poorly tailored suit of toss all with a mouth that looks like a slit in the side canvas of a curtain sided artic.

Got it?

Just in case you are in any doubt, here is the clause of Magna Carta, which has served us perfectly well for the last 795 years, written in a plain style of English that is easy to understand, salient, concise and quite beyond anything that a shower like Louise Casey could write if her miserable, insignificant and pointless life fucking depended on it:

No free man shall be captured, and or imprisoned, or disseised of his freehold, and or of his liberties, or of his free customs, or be outlawed, or exiled, or in any way destroyed, nor will we proceed against him by force or proceed against him by arms, but by the lawful judgment of his peers, and or by the law of the land.

Fuck you and the broomstick you rode in on, Casey.

You want to do away with this for the sake of expediency? I’ll tell you this, doing away with the right to trial by jury (yes, even in the case of like, really complicated fraud trials) is but one step removed from sweeping away innocent until proven guilty.

More of this please.

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The best way of learning is through one’s mistakes.

So when Saeed Khan, the man who, as far as I can make out, runs the only remaining branch of the Post Office in Kent not situated in a bastard WHSmith, was robbed in his shop, he considered the chain of events and wasn’t about to make the mistake of being caught unprepared again.

So. . .

Saeed Khan, 62, was alone in his shop in Byron Road when a man armed with a knife entered and demanded money. 

Mr Khan said he had kept a hammer near the counter to protect himself after his shop was targeted last month.

He said: “I hit him on his arm, but then he tried to come closer so I raised the hammer again and that’s when he ran off.

Fair play to Mr Khan. Mr Khan sounds like just the sort of chap we need more of in this country.

However. . .

Mr Khan, who has run the post office for 27 years, said he believed the same man was involved on both occasions.

So it would appear our robber has now learned a valuable lesson; don’t try and turn over Saeed Khan’s Post Office, because he’ll hit you with a hammer, and that bloody hurts.

The outcome? Well, this may be a little shocking.

You think I’m going to tell you he’s been nicked for twatting this cretin with a hammer, don’t you? Well, he hasn’t been. I doubt this is due to an outbreak of common sense at Gillingham CID, it is probably down to the fact that the robber has not come forward to make a complaint.

No, the outcome is actually quite predictable.

Det Insp Ann Lisseman said: “(Mr Khan) was very brave but I wouldn’t advise that people make use of weapons nearby or try and physically challenge offenders.” 

Now, if we had country where the Police (and I attach no blame to the rank and file here) actually arrived when asked and had a better than average chance of catching the little scrote, where protestations about being hit with a hammer whilst engaging in the act of robbing a Post Office being a flagrant breach of one’s human rights would be dismissed with suitable alacrity, and where the judiciary had the latitude and disposition to lock these arseholes up in a proper prison for a term longer than the 50% handed down, then this would probably be decent advice.

My advice would be the opposite. Keep a hammer near, and if someone tries to turn your gaff over, go at him with said hammer like a kid with ADHD at a fairground whack-a-mole stall. Once someone tries to harm you and/or yours or to take you and yours stuff, all bets are off. You get what you deserve.

Mr. Khan, I salute you.

As an aside, and to highlight the wonderful stupidity of some of the criminals within our midst, a couple with whom Mrs. Wolfers and I are friendly with had cause to have a late supper at one of my city’s numerous Indian restaurants recently. They were surprised when the old bill arrived during an unremarkable dinner service and thoroughly enjoyed the sideshow as two men sat a table nearby were arrested following the inspection of CCTV footage shot within the restaurant earlier that evening.

It transpired that the two gentlemen in question had entered the restaurant earlier that evening and had swiped the tips jar sat on the counter. No doubt having exchanged the contents of the jar for some drinks in one of the city’s fine hostelries, they felt a little peckish and decided to go for a curry.

In the same place they’d turned over earlier, where they were instantly recognised by the staff.

/facepalm.