Just for a moment. Sit back, close your eyes and let your ears filter out all the background noise and chatter.
There. Yes, that’s it.
That is the sound of 646 sphincters twitching, shifting uneasily in their seats as they realise that one of theirs has been sent down.
For two years.
After pleading guilty.
For the want of £39,000.
Fucking ACE, coppers. Now get down to the House of Commons, your work has just begun.
Should we be calling Crimestoppers?
It is the only conclusion I can come to.
This, to which my attention has been drawn by OH elsewhere today.
David Wilshire, the disgraced Conservative MP, has compared the treatment of politicians over their expense claims to the plight of Jews in Nazi Germany.
A voter who emailed to protest at Mr Wilshire’s behaviour received the reply in which Mr Wilshire compared MPs whose claims were exposed during the expenses scandal to Holocaust victims.
Right, bollocks to it, I’ve had enough of this shit now.
Firstly – In Nazi Germany the Jews were, after a period of restrictions on their liberties, rounded up, transported en masse and then put into a programme of systematic extermination.
Secondly – MP’s have not had this treatment meted out to them.
Thirdly – Jews are an identifiable religious and socio-ethnic group.
Fourthly – MP’s are not an identifiable religious and socio-ethnic group.
“The witch hunt against MPs in general will undermine democracy. It will weaken parliament – handing yet more power to governments. Branding a whole group of people as undesirables led to Hitler’s gas chambers.”
Right, let’s deal with that.
Firstly – In a good Democracy, constituents would be able to look at a venal, money grabbing MP and recall him or her, due to their complete loss of trust in his or her abilities or motives.
Secondly – It is all 646 of you who have weakened parliament. It is your governments who have stripped power from the individual and made them subordinate to the State. Do you mean to tell us that you sitting on your excessively well fed and expensively clothed arse syphoning cash off makes for a strong democracy? Do you think I’m stupid? Well, fuck you mate, your excessively well fed and expensively clothed arse is history.
Thirdly – Yes, the branding of a whole group of people as undesirables did indeed lead to Hitler’s gas chambers. Those who would smoke, those who would drink, those who would eat, those who would be free of thought, those who would see us leave the EU, those who would go for a walk down the street, those who go for a walk in the park with their dog and forget to take a plastic bag, those who leave their bin fractionally open, those who would attempt to do their recycling like a good citizen but find the bins are full, those who would question the ‘settled science’ behind global warming/climate change, those who do what they can to get their kids into the best school available, those who stand at the Cenotaph and read out the names of the lads who have lost their lives on active service, those who would take a photograph of a public space, those who would take a photograph of a public servant, those who would have their friends look after their children, those who would show a bit of fucking humanity and pick up a child who has fallen and cut their knee, those who would drive a car, all have been branded as undesirables.
I could go on, but I fear I would lose the will to live. Funnily enough, MPs would not appear on that list, not even right at the bottom. You see, David, what MPs have done is bring it on themselves. What the people on the list above have had happen is have it forced on them by you and your mates.
No doubt you would dismiss all this as having happened under Labour. But you know what? I don’t think you’d be any different. Is it just our money you want, David? I’m betting not, I’m betting you want our money and our obedience.
Still, let’s see what else you’ve been doing.
Earlier this month, The Daily Telegraph disclosed that he had paid £105,000 from his office expenses to Moorlands Research Services, a firm owned himself and his girlfriend.
Doubtless your research firm are world leaders and provided excellent value for money. Even if that is the case, it is the perception of the thing. How could you be so stupid, so arrogant? Did you think we wouldn’t find out, or did you just think we’d do as we were told when you stood in the way and told us to mind our own business? Your lot have been nosing around in our lives for years, now the spotlight has been switched. Not very nice is it?
He told his constituents that he had been “attacked” by the Telegraph, but was writing: “with a clear conscience”.
Well good for the Telegraph. It’s nice to see something approaching investigative journalism these days. And no, you did not write with a clear conscience, in order for the conscience to be clear there has to be a conscience there in the first place. From where I’m sitting, MP’s aren’t shamefaced (although I’m struggling to think of one who is ashamed) because they’ve done wrong, they are angry because they’ve been caught. They are angry because the report talks about retrospective measures. Well, it’s fucking good enough for us, isn’t it? Have some of your own medicine, you fat old trougher.
he said: “It is in accord with the rules.”
Well yes. And who made those rules?
The destruction of Jewish businesses was within the rules (hey, you started this comparison, lard-arse), denying the Jewish housing was within the rules, turning Jews into slave labour was within the rules, hoarding the private belongings of the Jews was within the rules, sending Jews to concentration camps was within the rules.
Well, that was until the rest of the world got together in Nuremburg after the war and decided that it was all very much against the rules. How many of the old Nazis got uppity and huffy at the trials, David? Did they sound like you?
In his letter, the MP complained of being the victim of “false allegations” and insisted that his company was “a properly constituted business”.
He added: “This use of allowances to help an MP do his/her job is completely within Parliament’s rules.”
Again, who made these rules?
We are the world as far as you are concerned, David. And for all of you in the house, the General Election will be your Nuremburg.
646 of them. 60 Million of us.
I’m looking forward to my stroll on Thursday.
Sorry folks, but it was all so predicatable. Of course Jacqui Smith did wrong. Of course an investigation would return that verdict. Of course she would be made to show contrition, although how you can show what you do not have is a mystery to me, it’s akin to shoving the wierd kid into the stinging nettles at school and being made to say sorry, even when it is obvious that you aren’t. It’s what nice people do, and we must appear nice, even if we’re not.
Of course she wouldn’t get punished. It’s an inside job.
Of course those with relatively small amounts of moody expenses would be told to pay them back.
Of course they, in the main, know that this will make it all OK. It would happen to you if you ‘mis-claimed’ benefits. If you paid it back, you’d be fine.
Wouldn’t you?
Nothing will change. Oh, the rosettes worn by the people walking into the offices of state will change, but there will be no change.
That’s not their fault, it is our fault. We are, as a nation, stupid enough to vote for them time and again, expecting change and then scratching our heads when none comes.
Perhaps the penny will drop, but I doubt it.
I am a Libertarian Party member, and believe that we should effect change via the electoral system. However I also understand that I am in a minority, both in my party membership and in my desire to do things by the book.
Look out for the EDL, look out for the enviromentalists, look out for the BNP, look out for the disapproving groups hurling abuse at returning soldiers.
Every single group has no confidence in those elected to represent them, nor in the system that gives them access to the levers of power. Increasingly desperate stunts will take place. Protests will increase and become increasingly more forceful. Increasingly desperate people will turn to violence. Hatred and resentment at anyone representing authority will grow.
Who is to blame? Well, to borrow a phrase from good old Gordon; we’re all in this together. The politicans have abused and taken advantage of us, like an abusive partner. Like a weak, abused partner, incapable of breaking the cycle, we keep letting them back in.
We have no-one to blame but ourselves, and we will reinforce the cycle by returning the same people again.
When will we learn?
Perhaps we already have, perhaps these groups are like the abused partners, smacked in the mouth once too often. Divorce court? Pah! The iron or the frying pan are in easy reach, and they’ll resolve the situation much quicker than some avaricious divorce solicitor.
I wouldn’t want to win this coming election for all the tea in China.
James Cleverly reports (via Guido) that former London Dep-Mayor Ian Clements is due up before Westminster Mags on a fraud charge over allegations of fiddling expenses.
Guido is of the opinion that he won’t be the last politician to be hauled before the beak.
Wouldn’t it be a terrible shame if he were only the first of many? Wouldn’t it be an even bigger shame if this was at its height during a General Election campaign?
One thing is for certain, there’ll be a number of politicians moaning about how such a situation would be unhelpful and perhaps even against the national interest, especially if they are perched atop a slim majority.
I think it was Harrison Ford playing the President in Air Force One who used the line ‘Your turn to be afraid.’
Well folks, payback is a bitch and next May (assuming that is when it finally comes) is going to be so much of an Elephant hunt, that I’ll be watching the election night coverage wearing khaki drill and a pith helmet.
Bring it on.
Nihilistic? Me?
So John Bercow is the new Speaker. You’ll forgive me if I don’t break out the bunting just yet, as it appears to me that the MPs have voted for someone who will look after them, rather than presiding over the changes that are so desperately needed.
Let’s have a look at his record.
In 2004, while in Michael Howard’s shadow cabinet, he wrote to wrote to Tony Blair praising the then prime minister’s “outstanding statesmanship.”
Hmmmm. Really? I always thought Blair’s biggest fan on the Tory benches was David Cameron. Not a great way to endear yourself to the boss.
Last month, The Daily Telegraph disclosed that Mr Bercow “flipped” the designation of his second home between London and his constituency when he sold two houses in the space of a year, enabling him to avoid paying capital gains tax (CGT) on the profits from either sale.
Ahhh, so, that is why so many MPs voted for him, he really is one of them, isn’t he?
He denied any wrongdoing but said he would pay £6,508 plus VAT to HM Revenue & Customs to cover the tax he could have been asked to pay on the sale of one of the homes.
So why pay them back? Come on man, have some courage in your convictions. If you’ve done nothing wrong then challenge them to take you to court. Paying cash out and then saying you’re innocent just makes you look a bit of a tit.
And isn’t the phrasing there lovely? Could have been asked? You can almost imagine a Revenue wonk in the style of Sgt. Wilson saying ‘would you mind terribly paying some tax?’ When was the last time the taxman asked? Demand is a more fitting word. And Could have asked? ‘Well, we could ask you to pay it, but we’ve so much cash swilling about in here, we really don’t see the need.’ No, that seems unlikely to me.
The Tory MP for Buckingham also claimed almost £1,000 for the cost of hiring an accountant to fill in tax returns.
The Darling Manoeuvre. Tax need not be taxing. Just flip your house to avoid CGT and then get the proles to pay for your accountant to make it all pukka. Nice one.
So why the Tory dark faces last night? Are we to believe that they feel a trougher has derailed their plan to clean up the House? Can’t be that. Cameroid could have scuppered Bercow’s Speaker campaign in an instant by calling for a party investigation into his flipping.
Perhaps it is because whilst he is one of them, he isn’t ‘their’ man. It’s not fair, Labour have had a Speaker that did what he was told, why can’t they have one?
Or is it that after the previous weeks of electoral disaster for Labour, the Tories are now unsure how to react when the person Labour wants to win an election actually goes and wins it?
Mr Bercow paid back £1,470.62 he claimed on his office expenses but it was not disclosed what the repayment was for.
But just as with everyone else, it was no doubt the result of a mistake. The only time you’ll see a building holding so many people who have made so many mistakes is when you drive past the local prison. Those prisoners, in the main, will blame the system and poor choices. Although to be fair to the criminal class, some of them will admit that they done it and it was a fair cop. Not one MP has managed that yet.
Criminals – more honest than MPs.
Just been trawling through most of the expenses claims for my constituency MP, Julian Brazier. I say most, as it became so dull, I was losing the will to live.
In a nutshell, he appears to stay in central London once in a while and claims about £65 per night for a room and about £20 a day for grub.
Annoyingly, this seems quite reasonable to me, unless my boredom caused me to miss something spectacular, especially as he doesn’t seem to have a second home (and nor should he, representing Canterbury, it’s not that far on the train), so credit where it is due.
A shame though, I was looking forward to a good rant.
I mean, seriously, how cheap do you have to be to do that? How little respect can you have?
The MP for Stockton-on-Tees submitted the 2006 claim with a handwritten note, but it was later rejected by the Commons Fees Office, the paper says.
So there may be someone in the Fees Office with something approaching some common sense after all then.
Mr Cook said he did not recall the claim and described it as “a mistake”.
Hang on, if you didn’t recall it, how can you explain it away as a mistake? I’ve never been in the position where I’ve filled in a claim for the Commons Fees Office, but I’m assuming that a handwritten note goes something like this:
Dear Fees Office Minion,
I made a £5 donation to a church the other day. They didn’t give a receipt. Please cough up.
Yours etc,
Frank Crook
Oh, sorry, that should have said Cook.
Mistake? What did you mean to write instead? You donated £50? £500? It may only be a fiver, and at that a fiver you were told to go and whistle for, but that is irrelevant. What sort of complete cock-monkey, arse-clown fucktard puts in an expenses claim for a donation to charity? And one that I should imagine is not fed at the expense of the taxpayer.
Twat.
If ever there were a demonstration of Parliament’s contempt for the public they are supposed to be serving, it came just now as the Speaker addressed the House.
I’ll gloss over the fact that he didn’t seem to understand the procedure of the House and had to discuss it with the Clerk, and focus instead on the fact that during the numerous points of order he effectively denounced Douglas Carswell’s early day motion as a peice of trivia.
His refusal to pass any comment on his immediate future can only lead me to suppose that it is his intention not only to see this term out, but also to stand for election at the next election. Convention has it that a serving Speaker is unopposed by the two other main parties in his consituency during an election. Bollocks to that convention, the Lib Dems and Tories should piss all over that. The status quo must not be protected.
It isn’t just that the Speaker should be offered up as a sacrificial lamb for the malfeasance of the House, he isn’t a scapegoat and should not be treated as one, but he is one the worst troughers out there.
By refusing to give time over to Carswell’s EDM, he has refused the House the opportunity to discuss his tenure as Speaker and has dropped the hot spud squarely in the lap of Brown. Brown will do nothing. I have no doubt that a number of ‘honourable’ members that would vote in a motion of no confidence in Martin would do so in the hope that the House surrendering him to the mob would deflect attention away from their own avarice, but that should not detract from the decent MPs who realise that his isn’t, has never been, and will never be up to the job he is supposed to be doing.
Once again the political class hold up two fingers to the public and shout a hearty ‘fuck you’.
The Queen has the prerogative of dissolving Parliament whenever she sees fit, I sit here in the hope that Her Majesty uses that right sooner rather than later.
This is an absolute disgrace from a legislature who do nothing but look out for their own personal, financial interests. The sooner we can kick out the whole sorry lot of them, the better.
So which one is it? Troughing pig or drooling imbecile?
Elliot Morley (and there’s a face only a mother could love) is in the Telegraph coloured shit this evening. It transpires that he claimed £16k to pay a mortgage he didn’t have.
Sixteen thousand quid is more than a good deal of people in this country see in wages every year. This is not a piffling amount of cash.
Is there not one MP that will have the balls to come out and say ‘Yes, we’ve been right at it. There has been a culture of grabbing as much loot as possible for years at Westminster now, and we honestly thought you’d never rumble us’?
No, Elliot Morley is the latest in an every increasing line of MPs who have made a ‘mistake’.
This defies belief, these mistakes have been made over and over again. And for how many years before the leak of these expenses claims?
How are we to have any faith in your policies if you repeatedly make the simplest mistakes? Do you really expect us to believe that these are proper honest to God mistakes? Or is that perhaps you’ve been, y’know, lying?
Either way the whole fucking lot of you are not to be trusted, how stupid do you think we are?
One of the problems with this blogging lark is that is a little incestuous, a great deal of preaching to the choir goes on, and there’s very little ‘engagement’ (to hijack a horrible peice of nu-speak) outside of those who share your beliefs.
I’m used to getting strange looks when I start ranting about this, that and the other. ‘Don’t worry, it’s just Wolfers going off on one again,’ is the view amongst my friends whenever the subject of politics raises its head. To be fair it is normally me that raises the subject as well.
My phone and Facebook have been glowing red-hot for the last few days. The message? ‘I get it now. I understand why you’re always so angry.’ They seemed puzzled when I would respond to their shrugged shoulders and claims of it being none of their business with cries of ‘Oh just go and watch bloody Eastenders.’
Now ‘they’ are angry. Not just us sad little bloggers railing against the world. People who have never shown the slightest interest, those that have always voted the way they vote, regardless of what the parties say or do. Those that have always considered voting to be a waste of time, or something they don’t want to get involved in, they are really pissed off.
A number of these people have been chatting with me throughout the last few days, and they’re going to vote, alright. None of them seem too keen on voting for the big 3 though, all of them seem very keen in voting to give the ‘little parties’ a chance. And not just next month, they can’t wait to dish it out in the ‘proper’ election when it comes.
UKIP
BNP
Green
Libertarian
English Democrat
Monster Raving Looney
Socialist Raving Looney
Badger Underpass Indie Raving Looney
Whether I agree with some, all or none of those listed above is irrelevant. The important thing is that they’re not those greedy fuckers draining a moat or having a second home re-furbed at my expense to the tune of £10k.
Just watch that ‘others’ column on Euro & local election night, just watch the minority share of the vote leap up. The same will happen in the General Election, the media will play ball, newspaper sales must be through the roof. Bugger partisan loyalties, they could actually make some money, all they have to do is keep the anger bubbling away.
Protest vote? You bloody bet. Not brought about by indifferent mis-trust, this is all out hatred, and they hate every last one of you. As Old Holborn is fond of saying; 646 of them, 60,000,000 of us. Well, the 60,000,000 have just done the maths. Let the games begin. . .