Oh, how wonderfully generous.

Earth hour.

Wow.

I mean, wow.

Another example of world-class attention-whoring ‘Oooh! Oooh! Look at me! I’m, like, soooooooo important.’

Of course, if it were that important that the lights go out for an hour, they’d be pressing for it to be done at half-four on a Wednesday afternoon in January, not the night before the bloody clocks go forward, so it obviously isn’t THAT important, is it?

Another empty gesture to let everyone feel like they’re making a difference.

Predictably the BBC are all over it like a 70′s powder blue suit on a Nigerian visa applicant.

“It gives everyone the chance to have some fun, to organise their own events, and at the same time be part of an incredibly powerful global message to world leaders of the concern we all share about climate change.”

Oh! Rapture! Wherever would we be without the benign and guiding hand of the WWF giving us, us, mere mortals, the chance to have some fun? I’m completely incapable of having fun without some jumped up self important bunch of panda botherers telling me how to do it. Not only that, but they’re going to let me organise my own event! I need to lie down, the power is going to my head.

Look, arseholes, we do not all share your concerns about climate change. So, in future, when tempted to speak for me, why not try keeping your fucking mouths shut?

I liked it better when the WWF was all about Steve Austin wrapping a folding chair around the Undertaker’s head.

All Hail the Green Hero.

Yes, good old Genghis, terror of Asia. Here was a man good at his job. He (I’m assuming with a little help from his mates) managed to off an estimated 40 million people. Hitler? Stalin? Pol Pot? Hah, novices compared to old Gen.

We’ll never see his like again. Hopefully.

Well, I say hopefully, but for some it seems that isn’t the case. It isn’t just in Mongolia for reasons of national pride.

You see;

Genghis Khan’s Mongol invasion in the 13th and 14th centuries was so vast that it may have been the first instance in history of a single culture causing man-made climate change, according to new research out of the Carnegie Institution’s Department of Global Ecology.

But surely that’s a bad thing, right?

Unlike modern day climate change, however, the Mongol invasion cooled the planet, effectively scrubbing around 700 million tons of carbon from the atmosphere.

Still a bad thing. Does that mean he was responsible for the mini-ice age then? What a bastard.

In other words, one effect of Genghis Khan’s unrelenting invasion was widespread reforestation, and the re-growth of those forests meant that more carbon could be absorbed from the atmosphere.

Really?

Well, I suppose we’re all told we can make a difference individually. If you buy the theory of AGW. I’m not sure I do.

But the message here is clear, genocide is fine because it stops global warming.

Give me strength.

Ignorance.

I will admit that my attention has been lying elsewhere this week, so my thanks to ‘Bill’ in the comments in the article below for drawing my attention to it.

It does indeed sound like as heroic a rescue attempt as that of the Chilean miners, but we’ve heard nothing about it. I’ll resist the urge to get my tin-foil hat out and speculate as to why that is.

Anyhow, I give you the Okhotsk Sea Crisis:

Yesterday, the Russians were talking about the rescue operation moving into the final, crucial stage, as the combined force of the two biggest icebreakers in the region moved in to try to extract the 32,000-ton Sodruzhestvo (pictured) from ice captivity in the Okhotsk Sea.

The latest report informs us that the icebreakers Krasin and the Admiral Makarov have in fact reached the Sodruzhestvo, now confirmed with 348 crew members on board, and have started to lead her out to free waters. The route has been carefully planned, after extensive reconnaissance by helicopter. The pressure is on for a number of reasons, not least because meteorologists are predicting  that the weather will worsen sharply in the next two days. Winds are expected to strengthen and visibility to drop.

Do go over, read the whole thing, and ask yourself the same questions I am asking myself.

The One That Is Comparing And Contrasting. . .

Perhaps I’m easily confused, but these two stories on Al-Jabeeba’s website this morning have me scratching my head.

Exhibit A:

A review from the UK Met Office says it is becoming clearer that human activities are causing climate change.

It says the evidence is stronger now than when the Intergovernmental Panel on climate Change carried out its last assessment in 2007.

The analysis, published in the Wiley Interdisciplinary Reviews Climate Change Journal, has assessed 110 research papers on the subject.

It says the earth is changing rapidly, probably because of greenhouse gases.

Blimey, that’s a bugger. What the hell are we going to do?

I will console myself by continuing to consume my morning news. Oh… hullo, what’s this?

Exhibit B:

Four ships break free from Baltic Sea ice.

Four ships have broken free after being stuck in the ice in the Baltic Sea, but around 50 remain stuck, officials say.

Some ships are stranded in the waters between Stockholm and the Aaland Islands, while others are stuck in the Bay of Bothnia to the north.

Many of the vessels are not likely to be freed for hours, the Swedish maritime authorities say.

They say no-one is hurt and there are currently no evacuation plans. However, the level of alert has been increased.

So, on one hand we’ve got polar bears breaking out the factor 40 and people in the centre of Australia building arks in anticipation of the biblical flood we’re expecting, and yet on the other hand we’ve got ships stuck in ice off the coast of Stockholm. I know that Sweden is hardly St. Lucia in winter, but Stockholm is a long, long way from the Arctic Circle, and it is bloody March.

Even the IPCC has declared a ‘pause’.

Anyone have any ideas? ‘Cause I’m stumped.

The One That Is Joining The Dots. . .

Isn’t it interesting to see how quickly people’s perceptions change? A poll for Al-Jabeeba shows that ‘Climate scepticism is on the rise.’ This would seem to be a bad thing.

It showed that 25% of those questioned did not think global warming was happening, an increase of 10% since a similar poll was conducted in November.

To be honest, given the hammering that the global warming lot have taken recently, I’m surprised that the increase is as low as that.

Do not forget, dear reader, that this is the BBC we are talking about, an organisation which has a management with a clear vested interest in the reporting of this subject. This is reflected in the way the article is presented.

“More people are now doubters than firm believers.”

Look, it isn’t a case of faith, it is a case of the scrutiny of the science. Not since the publication of Darwin’s ‘The Origin of the species’ has a scientific theory been subject to such intense scrutiny, and certainly not since then has one come with such emotive, irrational and (almost, in the case of CC) theistic outbursts. Science is about fact, proven, concrete, bomb-proof fact. Even with my limited knowledge of science, I know that scientific fact is pretty hard to come by.

It is likely that the human race shares common ancestry with the other apes and lesser primates. This is theory. It has not been proven, even now 150 years after the publication of The Origin of the Species, we cannot be 100% absolutely sure that what Darwin suggested is true.

Climatology is such a young science, with such a limited reliable data set, that a good deal of the work is, and can only be, guess work. Anyhow, I digress, back to the BBC agenda.

The Department for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs’ (Defra) chief scientific adviser, Professor Bob Watson, called the findings “very disappointing”.

Just to clear up any misunderstanding, this is Bob Watson, former chair of the IPCC. That’s the same IPCC who based a publication on an article in a climbing magazine and the dissertation of a student.


“Action is urgently needed,” Professor Watson warned.

This is also the same Bob Watson who is the Director of Strategic Development at UEA. That’s the same UEA who were hacked into, or leaked out of, which brought material into the light which seriously damaged the credibility of the whole operation and output.

“We need the public to understand that climate change is serious so they will change their habits and help us move towards a low carbon economy.”

WE need? We? Who is ‘we’? Or is it, Bob, just possible, just a little, that your whole income and lifestyle is dependent upon us following your decrees without question and being very scared and pathetically grateful?

Still, you’ve got to love the BBC. We don’t want you drawing any links between a Defra expert (who I’m sure we’re to believe is impartial and just wanting the best), an educational establishment with a slightly marked copy-book vis-à-vis the veracity of its output and that output in itself. Or are they just trying to spare Bob’s embarrassment?

In November, the contents of emails stolen from a leading climate science unit led to accusations that a number of researchers had manipulated data.

Hmmm, which researchers would they be then?

Oh yes, the ones that work at UEA, under Bob.

And in January, the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC) admitted that it had made a mistake in asserting that Himalayan glaciers could disappear by 2035.

Hmmm, and which IPCC would that be? Would it be the Independent Police Complaints Commission? No? The Independent Press Complaints Commission? No? It must the International Panel on Climate Change then.

Oh hang on, wasn’t that the lot that old, ohhhhh, what’s his name?

Oh, yes, Professor Robert Watson, anyhow it was the lot that he ran. They did that.

It’s not a glowing track record, is it?

For the record, I’m sceptical. The fact that more and more evidence is being shown to be flawed at best and intentionally misleading at worst, that sections of the media, academia, government and NGOs are so keen to shut down any debate, or y’know, scientific examination of the evidence, that the IPCC has declared a pause in climate change (is it like a PS3? Perhaps someone’s called, or they need a wee) and actually admitted deception, even though they’ll maintain it is an honest mistake (like the honest mistakes made by Chaytor, Morley and Devine) and the fact that a very profitable service industry has sprung up around the whole idea (I understand there’s some conference or other in India at the moment, how do they all get around? I’m betting they didn’t cycle from Copenhagen) leads me to believe that this may all not be on the level.

On the balance of probability, I think the climate is probably changing. I think it’s getting colder. And that it’s nothing to do with man’s activities. It’s just one of those things.

I’m not a scientist, but people like Leg-Iron and Salted Slug who seem to be proper scientists, with lab coats, test tubes, goggles and oddly shaped pyrex pots with smoke billowing out of the top of bubbling blue liquid, are questioning the quality of the work here. If they’re not happy, then I think the shouting about ‘deniers’ and the like needs to viewed with extreme caution, as it seems to me that that is what you do when you run out of argument.

However, I do know beyond doubt, that we are being manipulated, stolen from and lied to, even if it were all true, it would have been taken advantage of in a most calculated and cynical fashion. Looking at the poll results it would appear I’m not alone. We are now giving our politicians and scientists quizzical looks. Some are even saying ‘Yeah? Prove it.’

The age of deference is well and truly over, as deference can only be replaced with accountability. That’s accountability on OUR terms, not theirs. The BBC will have to catch up, and smartish.

The One That Is Going To Become A Spiv. . .

The Snowolf, with a pocket full of C-Creds, earlier today.

Sometimes, even by today’s standards, an idea comes forward which is so monumentally stupid that it really does beggar belief.

This one is a doozie. It combines the three great hallmarks of New Labour; sanctimony, control and complete unaccountability.

Everyone should be given an annual carbon ration and face financial penalties if they exceed it, under a proposal by the Environment Agency.

Yep, it’s that old chestnut again, the only way to save the polar bears is to have the state open your wallet for you.

Lord Smith of Finsbury, the agency’s chairman, will say today that rationing is the fairest and most effective way of meeting Britain’s legally binding targets for cutting greenhouse gas emissions.

Ah yes, Lord Smith of Finsbury, I remember his election campaign like it was yesterday. I recall how. . . oh, no hang on, he’s not been elected to anything.

Snowolf, chairman of the Snowolf’s Front Room committee, will say today that rationing the kicking of Lord Smith of Finsbury repeatedly in the face is the fairest and most effective way of keeping the mouths of unelected fuckwits firmly closed.

Legally binding? What? How so? I didn’t agree to be legally bound by anything. Is this a criminal or a civil matter? Can we look forward to ministers being sent to the clink if we don’t meet the targets? If so, I’m going to stick my heating on full, run every electrical appliance I have and open all the windows and doors.

People would be given a “carbon account” and a unique number that they would have to submit when making purchases of carbon-intensive items such as petrol, electricity or airline tickets. As with a bank account, people would receive statements showing the carbon weight of each purchase and how much of their ration remained.

Oh you are having a fucking laugh, aren’t you? Really, come on, even by NuLab standards this is a different class. You’d just fucking love to get your hands on that little tool wouldn’t you?

It won’t just be that, the next step will be for everyone to go to the GPs, under threat of a fine, to have their lung capacity measured, so we can be taxed on breathing out. So another tax on petrol, on top of the duty and VAT. Nice. Of course, ministers and peers would be exempt because they are really important. Then food. We can cut obesity and save the planet. Soylent Green anyone? That was set in 2020.

If they used up their ration within a year, they would have to buy extra credits from those who had not used their full allowance.

Oh, what a great idea. I’ll bet you rubbed yourself red-raw when you masturbated furiously in celebration of that idea, didn’t you?

And it has a secondary control tool as well. ‘Are you going up on the march to demonstrate against the suspension of parliamentary democracy?’

‘No, I’ve not got the carbon credits, I don’t even have enough to take a hot shower.’

The return to feudalism. We won’t be able to leave the Manor without the Lord’s permission.

I’m going to dress up like Pte. Walker from Dad’s Army, because the black market in unused carbon credits will go through the fucking roof. People will pay hundreds to get their hands on a little ticket that literally represents thin fucking air.

That’s right, the government will now sell us fresh air, and will then tax us on the use of it.

What else will this enable? ID fraud will go through the roof as well. Perhaps if we had some sort of national ID card scheme, we could combat these eeeeeeevil people who get more than their fair share?

An ID card will prevent terrorism and save the planet.

Terrorism:

–noun

1. the use of violence and threats to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes.
2. the state of fear and submission produced by terrorism or terrorization.

The machinery of our government is engaging in terrorism against its own population.

Nice.

The One That Is Saying ‘Oh No It Isn’t!’. . .

I love this time of year, and I love panto.

Oh, no, hang on. That’s not true. I hate panto.

Anyhow, here is a clip of Al Gore telling anyone who cares to listen that the arctic polar ice caps will disappear within 5 years.

No, it isn’t at Copenhagen, it’s at the opening of a dinosaur park (????) in Germany and was posted on 13th December 2008.

Today is 14th December 2009 and Sky News are reporting on TV (not yet on website) that Gore has told Copenhagen that there is a 70% chance that the arctic ice caps could disappear in the summer period within the next 5 to 7 years. There’s a weasely little argument. There’s a chance that something might happen, over some vague period of time. No evidence, no debate, an assertation. It can not be proved or disproved, except with hindsight, but you’ll just keep resetting the clock, won’t you?

Tell me Al, is this 5 years from today, or is it really 4 years? Will you say the same thing with the same time scale this time next year, and the year after that? Will you still be saying this in 2020? Why do you say this in the run up to Christmas every year? Presents to buy? What is the size of the arctic ice now, as compared to the previous ten years, say? (I don’t know the answer, I haven’t checked)

If the news is accurate, it would seem that the developing nations in Africa have spat the dummy and walked out. Is it because of their burning desire to see Gaia saved? Or is it that they can make a huge pile of aid cash out of this, most of which will end up in Swiss numbered bank accounts?

Assuming this walk out means that Copenhagen is a dead duck (expect China, India and the Saudis to say ‘Oh, what’s the point?’) and no deal is in the offing, what will you say in 2014, 2015 and 2016 when August comes and the arctic ice caps are still very much there, Al? Indeed what will you say if the summer coverage has actually increased?

You run the risk of making some people very angry, and an electric car is no good for running away from baying mobs with sets of gallows on wheels.

Oh, what am I thinking? You won’t have an electric car, will you Al? You’re far too important for that, you are doing the work of the Great Green God, like the leader of some wierd cult, your needs are paramount. It’s only little people that are killing the planet.

The One That Will Not Tolerate Any Discussion. . .

I was working the night shift last night. It’s not too bad as I was in the warm and could get on with my work without interruptions and too many bloody silly phonecalls. It also meant that I was working alone, I had the whole office to myself.

One of the advantages is being able to listen to Richard Bacon on 5 Live, it is quite an entertaining mix of the earnest and the ridiculous, as you will possibly have seen in his cameo on The Thick Of It the other week. The late night phone in is great, all the freaks and wierdos come out to play.

Normally the freaks and wierdos are calling in, last night he had them there, in person, and it really did sound like Armando Ianucci had scripted the whole thing. I nearly choked on my muller crunch corner when at the start of the second hour of the show he posed the question that in light of climategate, is global warming real or a massive scam?

To ensure balance, he had a foaming at the mouth ‘denier’ who talked over everyone, incessantly, to the extent that the segment became almost unlistenable, and of course the absolute barking at the moon, batshit mental ‘warmist’. He was an amazing piece of work and came out all guns blazing. No sooner had he been introduced than he embarked on the most amazing rant, browbeating the BBC for daring to allow any debate on the subject, it really was an exceptional demonstration of the practices of the warmist camp and is well worth a listen. It’s about an hour into the podcast, the debate over the fidelity (or otherwise) of men that goes before isn’t quite so entertaining.

The message that most people would have taken away is that warmists are all nutters who shout and scream, at everyone, regardless of if they agree with them or not, and deniers are all boring farts who just trot out stats and won’t shut the hell up. I think the idea was to tell people not to worry about it and to let people who are better than you deal with the issue.

Amazing.

The One That Thinks There Might Be Something In This Climate Change Lark. . .

Northampton Town’s Sixfields Stadium earlier this evening.

It must be climate change, there is no other possible explanation. I mean when was the last time you saw a league match being postponed in bloody October?

We must take positive action, Comrades. The Arctic ice-shelf is on the rampage, the townsfolk of Northampton losing football fixtures to the weather, kids in the Midlands building bloody snowmen! In pissing October! Won’t somebody think of the children? What sort of world will they grow up in? Are they expected to build igloos in their summer holidays?

Join me, join me in turning the heating up full blast and opening all the windows, drive everywhere, even if it is to put a bag in the bin, as fast as you can, in first gear, sit in your armchair drinking a cup of tea in one hand and have an orbital sander whirring around in the other. We must stop the climate from changing!